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Pow Padovini and Chapo Pausch

Let’s talk about Xena’s past, shall we? I mean… what did she do before meeting Borias? And in what moment of her life was did she become a valkyrie? When did she meet Akemi? So here we were, Chapo and me chattering about that and we started to make some notes in a ripped packaging paper with a red bic pen, in the midst of lots of laughing and coke we had the brilliant idea of making a video with the ‘proofs’ the series gives us. For that reason we assessed several evidences, from armors worn chakram presence or absence, which purposely or not allows us to create a chronological line since the day Amphipolis was attacked until the day Xena decides to begin a fresh, new life. Such an effort demanded us fundamentally to search over some Xena crossovers in Hercules, specifically the episodes Armaggedon Now II, The Warrior Princess, The Gauntlet, and Unchained Heart. So, Xenites that haven’t seen those episodes yet, get your horses on march to watch them and get our comments understood. Understood?

Right, so first things first:

After the not-at-all-funny and disappointing Cortese had attacked Amphipolis in the battle that had taken Lyceus’ life, Xena was overwhelmed with anger and revolt, becoming a conqueror. Some see her as a pirate  pillagingwith her army which until then wasn’t that much of a big force… They just looted to collect rich goods and to the purpose of defending Amphipolis. In one of these lootings in the city of Neapolitas, Xena ends up meeting the son of a bacchae Julius Caesar… and that was enough to cast fire on Xena’s terrorizing rain. Xena  then ‘kidnapped’ Caesar, and in her way to the troops that would pay for his rescue, Xena faces an intruder in her ship, a female slave who had kicked some serious tails among her crew… she was M’lilla, the person who taught the technique which would someday turn into a reference mark to our Warrior Princess: the pinch. Xena would spare M’lilla’s life in exchange of knowledge, after all knowledge is a weapon, correct? And that’s what happened. Meanwhile, Caesar and his philosophy of separating the woman’s emotion from her sensitivity had managed to gain Xena’s empathy (yeah, sure…), who ended up wanting to conquer the world by the side of her new best friend/ally/lover. True story, guys: M’lilla did try to warn her with her super-easily-understandable language that Caesar wasn’t an angel to be praised, but… Xena didn’t listen to her and… yes… BELIEVE ME… she was betrayed. Julius Caesar ordered Xena to be crucified on a beach along with her ‘army’; luckily, M’lilla hadn’t been hold captive and saved her friend by taking Xena to a healer, Nicklio, who delicately fixed Xena’s bones and used very efficient acupuncture to treat her legs. But Xena’s dead body on the beach’s shore was such a trophy to Caesar that he sent his soldiers after her. In the middle of the fight, M’lilla sacrifices herself for Xena, who’s taken by hatred and becomes our Evil Xena (which, by the way, is great!). All of that takes place in the episode Destiny from the second season, dating from ‘Ten winters ago’ and taking place on the surroundings of where would Italy be today.

Moving on: with broken legs and shattered soul, Xena headed east in search of revenge. Around Mongolia, Xena (crippled) enlists herself in the army led by Borias, who was ‘married’ to Natasha and had a son named Belak. Seduced by Xena, Borias abandons his army and family going straight to the Orient. This is revealed to us in the episode ‘The Last of the Centaurs’ of season 6. When arriving in China, Xena and Borias decide to kidnap the son of Ming-Tsu, the leader of the house of Ming, taking profit from it. Xena is betrayed (again) this time by Borias, and ends up being hunted like an animal by the boy’s father. Xena, crippled, in midst of her desperation running away from the dogs that were hunting her, is saved by Lao Ma, the person who commanded the kingdom of Lao. Lao Ma believed that Xena was destined to great accomplishments and, using her power, heals Xena’s legs and invites her to protect her kingdom becoming her ‘Warrior Princess’. Xena, overtaken by her will of vendetta, gives up on her behavior and kills Ming-Tsu. She also tries to kill Ming Tien, the kidnapped boy who was Lao Ma’s son. As every mother who takes care of her child becomes overprotective in these situations, Lao Ma beats Xena up. All these facts take place on the episodes ‘The Debt’ parts I and II, on season 3.

Leaving China, Xena and Borias hear about a place which was called ‘the land of the rising sun’ (Japan). Motivated by the idea of a new land to conquer and still on the vibe of profiting from kidnapping the children of important people, there she goes (alone) to kidnap Akemi (who wants to gently insert toothpicks under her fingernails, raise your hand!).

After learning the pinch from Xena, Akemi assassinates her own father (that said, there was nobody else to pay for the ransom and Akemi turned out to be THAT useful – ok, I’m done…) and takes her own life, but before she asks Xena to take her ashes to the family temple to restore her honor. The Japanese became insurgent and wouldn’t let her do it: the ashes got lost and Xena, creative as ever, use her breath of fire for the first time (chronologically) and gives us a glimpse of what would happen in Cirra years later… burning everybody. This part of the story is showed to us in ‘A Friend in Need’. At the end of this episode we have Xena with a short haircut (yes, this is important).

Frustrated and irritated, Xena comes back to Borias and together they head West, gaining fame and power. On the surroundings of Siberia, the long-haired Xena (it probably grew during the trip!) meets Alti… a Shamanist Amazon with obscure powers who seduces Xena with promises of turning her into the Destroyer of Nations. Xena is pregnant with Solan. Answering Alti’s demands e opposing Borias’, Xena kills the North Amazons in the attempt of conquering power. It’s worth recalling that it was then Solan, still in his mother’s womb, was cursed by Alti to never get to know the love of his father nor his mother’s – Bitch! All that in episodes ‘Adventures in the Sin Trade – Parts I and II’.

Xena gains knowledge of the existence of the Ixion Stone (more about it you find in the episode ‘Orphan of War’, from second season) and departs after such artifact, which according to Alti (speculation) would give her powers to become the Destroyer of Nations. Xena, her belly as big as Mount Olympus, gets at war against the centaurs (detainers of the stone). It’s the legendary Battle of Corinth. Thwarted and in disagreement with the attitudes of his child’s mother, Borias changes sides and allies with the centaurs. In the middle of the battle, Solan is born and Borias dies between his killer and his son (so sad…).

Xena, now with some maternal instinct, gives her newly born child to Kaleipus to be raised among the centaurs and thus, far away from his mother’s enemies (episode ‘Past Imperfect’, fourth season). You may notice that up to now, Xena wears her classic Evil Xena’s armor.

With Borias’ death right in front of her eyes, along with her son’s abandonment, Xena goes alone to the North. Without any trace of feelings left, no expectations if not in finding and conquering until getting conquered herself, Xena meets Odin, who turns her into a Valkyrie. Xena forges the Ring in Reingold and it becomes clear to us that she had abandoned love. (It is known as a speculation that in some moment between Corinth and Odin, Xena received the Chakram and the sword from Ares, since during Brunhilda’s explanations to Gabrielle regarding Xena as a Valkyrie, for some reason, the writers want us to notice that Chakram and the sword as Xena’s weapons, although as a Valkyrie Xena doesn’t use the Chakram, perhaps by not knowing how to deal with it yet, or simply because she didn’t want to … while I’d use it against Grinhilda, wouldn’t you? Ok…). All that happens in the episodes ‘The Ring’ and ‘The Reingold’, sixth season.

Without the ring and not willing to learn and spend all her body energy to become a flame that would burn forever, Xena abandons the Valkyries and journeys to Greece, where in her new armor leaves Talassa to die devoured by crabs (where the love, Xena?). It’s worth noticing Xena carrying the new weapons. All that in episode ‘Tied Up and Locked Down’, fourth season.

Following the chronology and focusing ourselves to little details that can be great tools to reveal the puzzle of our warrior’s past, Xena appears in the episode ‘Armageddon Now II’ on Hercules, at the moment in which her army, already with Darphus as her subordinate, was attacking Cirra (long story…). Xena wear the same fashionable armor she wore in the episode mentioned before when we talked about Talassa, and she uses the Chakram with mastery, though with some sort of admiration to its power… at least it’s the impression she gives us when she admires the weapon before throwing it at Iolaus and later when she gets it back. Notice that in this episode Xena, in a dialogue with Ares, talks about the arrival of a champion who would stop Xena from continuing her conquering, but she replies saying she would only have to kill him; we understand this passage as a tip that Hercules already worried Ares back then. Attention to the fact that Darphus is already part of this army.

Thinking about her clothing (fancy dresses and armors) let’s make a recap: Xena abandons her armor of classic Evil Xena only when she becomes a Valkyrie. In abandoning Odin and returning to Greece with new weapons, she acquires a new suit (it was about time, eh?). That explains the clothing she wears at the time of Talassa and Cirra.

Continuing: Xena with her army finally faces the Horde (only Evil Xena flashback episode with the traditional armor as we know it – episode ‘The Daughter of Pomira’, fourth season). In this episode, Pilli, the daughter of the horde, seems to be twelve years old, and the information is that she was kidnapped when she was six. If we think that Xena faced the horde around two years before knowing Gabrielle, and the story of Pilli is told in season four and, of course, if we consider each season showed passes in a year, we would have Pilli’s story being found six years after she was kidnapped. Phew!

Finally, Xena sets upon defeating Hercules ‘cause she had already done a little bit of everything in life and now wanted one of the biggest challenges she could find: defeating the son of Zeus. In this trilogy on Hercules, Xena is forced to go on the ritual called ‘The Gauntlet’, since her subaltern Darphus (do you understand now why it was important to notice that he was part of her army back then in Cirra?) wants to usurp her place as the leader of the army. Hercules convinces Xena to change sides and to fight in the side of good. Darphus turns into pet food and Xena decides to fix her mistakes. All these in episodes ‘The Warrior Princess’, ‘The Gauntlet’, and ‘Unchained Heart’. After that… it’s simple SPECULATION that Xena wandered through Greece until deciding on a homecoming… giving up everything… and… she met Gabrielle!

That’s it, guys. Now you may watch the video, compiled and edited from all of our hearts. We tried to be as faithful as possible to the facts, and not on speculations on our behalf. After all, we wanted a chronology as most faithful as one could be! Thank you everyone for enjoying our work, and please leave your comments. Hugs to all.

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